Once upon a time, on a small farm in Greenwich, Connecticut, there lived a group of teenage sheep. Chelsea, Kelsey, Courtney, Amanda, Brittany, Morgan, Lauren, Campbell and Sally liked to hang out together after sheep high school, and talk about things that mattered to teenage girl sheep. The prettiest of the teenage sheep was named Morgan. All of the other girl sheep liked to sit next to her in hopes of becoming her best friend, and always made certain that their hooves and bottoms were clean of sheep dip before approaching her. The sheep had been together since they were born and some of them even shared the same mother (their paternal lineage was never discussed).
As the sheep grew up, they looked very much the same, and the farmer needed to mark them with a tag in order to tell one from the other. Morgan on the other hand seemed to stand out from the other sheep, as her fleece was just a bit whiter and softer. Whenever the sheep were put out to pasture for their sheep exercise, they would jump around and pose seductively for the herd of teenage boy sheep that lived on the other side of the fence. Lauren and Amanda even smoked the occasional sheep cigarette.
One day while out exercising, the teenage boy sheep began to take notice of Sally. Sally was a little fuller in the hips than Morgan, and her fleece had more of wheat color to it. It was however, very fluffy and soft. One teenage boy sheep named Dylan approached the fence and called out “Hey, tan sheep! You want to go bowling on Friday?” To which Morgan responded, “Who are you calling tan sheep? My fleece is as white as snow!” Dylan wrinkled his nose finished chewing a blade of grass, coughed up some of the grass and said “Yeah, you’re fleece is white, so you should have figured out that I wasn’t talking to you Snowy.” Morgan looked taken aback; in fact she took a few steps back, and passed a small amount of wind. She shook her head and said “Well then who are you speaking to?” The other teenage girl sheep looked around the herd nervously, inspecting the shade of their own fleece. Dylan, whose mouth was once again full of grass, took his time chewing, and when he was done, pointed with his nose in the direction of Sally, who was trying desperately to lose the attentions of a determined fly buzzing around her ears. The other sheep in the herd looked at Sally and then at Morgan and then at Dylan and then at the grass in front of them. Some of them even pawed the ground embarrassed.
“Tan sheep! I asked if you want to go bowling Friday night.” Dylan managed to get out while repeatedly hacking up balls of wet grass.
Sally looked at Dylan and then at Morgan, and then at the grass in front of her. “Um . . . “she began but before she could get out a proper sheep answer, she looked back at Morgan who was flaring her sheep nostrils in a furious fashion. “Uh, no thank you. I’m not allowed to go bowling with teenage boy sheep yet.”
Dylan looked up from his regurgitated ball of grass and responded “Meh!”
This proved to be a very bad turn of events for Sally, as Morgan became irrationally jealous of her fellow sheep whose fleece was wheat colored. That night after the teenage girl sheep had had their dinner and were finished watching The Vampire Diaries, Morgan began to send text messages to her fellow herd sisters. “Sally’s a hoe,” said one message sent to Courtney. “Don’t talk to Sally; she’ll steel everyone’s’ teenage sheep boyfriends,” she sent to Chelsea. “Sally’s a devil sheep” read Campbell read on her cell phone. And so it transpired, that over the next few days, Sally was omitted from the group. She felt terrible about this, but mostly just felt lonely. The farmer noticed that the other sheep wouldn’t go near Sally and he worried that she was inflicted with some kind of dangerous teenage girl sheep disease. He called the vet out to his farm and showed him how the other sheep were treating Sally. “What do you think it is Doc?” He asked nervously. The vet climbed over the fence and approached Sally. Sally was so happy to have someone pay attention to her, that she gladly ambled over to the vet and allowed him to pat her. He looked in her ears, he checked her eyes, opened her mouth and inspected her teeth, ran his hands down her legs. When he was finished with the inspection, he looked at the farmer and said “Nothing wrong with this sheep, in fact, she’s the most beautiful sheep I’ve ever seen. Problem is the other sheep know it. These teenage girl sheep are tricky. I imagine that there is one in the herd who is intimidating the others into shunning this one. The sheep until now had been moving slowly together toward the vet, the farmer and Sally. When they heard this, they stopped immediately and began to wander aimlessly in different directions, with Morgan running the farthest away. The vet watched the sheep for a moment and said to the Farmer “There’s your leader, that one out under the tree. If it were my sheep, I’d give her a taste of her own medicine.” The farmer thanked the vet profusely for his advice and set about thinking of an appropriate punishment for Morgan.
The next day when the farmer called the sheep for their breakfast, they all appeared except for Morgan. The girl sheep were halfway through their breakfast of Eggo Waffles and Sunny Delight, when the door to the pen opened and in walked what appeared to be a demon of sorts. “Damn!” said Brittany scooting as far away from the demon sheep as she could get. The other sheep followed suit. The demon sheep seemed to have a bit of difficulty maneuvering the pen, but clearly had set a path for the other sheep. As soon as it would get within a few feet of the herd, they would shift to another corner of the pen. This went on for most of the morning, until the demon sheep gave up, found a corner and laid down. The other sheep found a corner in the opposite side of the pen and laid down in a heap together. They didn’t close their eyes however; instead they lay watching the demon sheep. A little while later the farmer came into the pen and approached the demon sheep. He bent down and removed what appeared to be the face of the demon. The rest of the herd gasped as they recognized the familiar fluffy white face of Morgan. “Now, let that be a lesson to you! No more ostracizing the pretty sheep. You have to play with everyone, or I’ll make you wear the mask and I’ll take away your Starbucks gift card. And that goes for the rest of you!”
Eventually the herd gathered enough courage to approach Morgan to see if in fact it was her. By the end of the day, Morgan had apologized to Sally for excluding her and starting hurtful and unimaginative rumors about her character. The teenage sheep eventually grew into adult female sheep, married, produced lambs of their own and proceeded to bully their lamb’s teachers and more gifted friends.
And that is the legend of the demon sheep.
If you'd like to see Morgan in her demon sheep mask, by all means, click on the link below - I must warn you though, it is not a pretty and may not be appropriate for teenage girl sheep).